Name: Prometheus
Threat Level: Tuesday
D.O.B: Unknown
Height: 12ft
Weight: UnknownOccupation: Titan god of fire
Quirk: Talented thief
The ancient myth of Prometheus tells us that he was a titan god of fire, who stole fire from the gods and gave it to the humans. In actuality, Prometheus stole cigarettes from the Master, a well known smoking enthusiest, and gave them to the human race. The human race was not prepared for the addictivity of smoking, causing a pandemic and enormous industry of smoking which only began to lose influence at the turn of the 21st century when anti-smoking mindedness began to grow in popularity, but was then hobbled by the rise of vaping.
Being a god, Prometheus had been friends with The Master before he stole from him, and the Master had let him "bum a ciggie". Their friendship imploded when Prometheus said they should share the gift of smoking with the humans, but the Master refused. This led Prometheus to steal the pack of cigarettes and give them to the early humans, as Prometheus had been unable to predict the effects of what would happen long term. After the Master found out what he had done, he unfollowed Prometheus on myspace and also sent a crow to peck his balls for all eternity. This crow was given the same enchantment as Gerkin the finger monkey, granting him immortality in exchange for completing a task. Prometheus has been driven near insane by having his balls pecked, as the crow is unrelenting in his attack, and highly intelligent. Prometheus kills the crow daily, but usually not until after the crow has been successful in its mission, despite Prometheus's best efforts to stop him.
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