THE DISASTROUS TALE OF THE BALDS.
CHAPTER 11: REUNION OF THE BALDS
Bald Leon sprinted down a dark alley in the pitch darkness of night, his feet splashing puddle water up the walls. He could hear them coming behind him. He turned around just in time to see, and more scarily, hear, two shots ring out in his direction. He made a quick turn into a secondary alleyway, dodging the bullets which embedded themselves in the wall next to where his head was.
The rogue agents dispatched by Agent Davidson continued to run after Bald Leon, assuming he had run down the alleyway he had ducked into. As the first agent reached him, Bald Leon stuck his arm out, clotheslining him with his rigid arm. The agent's legs kept running even though his body wasn't following, making him slip on the wet floor and land on his back, winded and choking from his neck being compressed by Bald Leon's thick, immovable arm.
The second agent pulled out a truncheon from his belt, which had been modified to be an electric stun stick. He swung wildly at Bald Leon, yelling out battle cries with every swing, but Bald Leon expertly stepped out of the way of each attack. Bald Leon took a chance and punched the agent, hard, on the side of his head, sending his head colliding into the claustrophobic wall of the alleyway, knocking him out, and cracking his skull.
Bald Leon patted down the two defeated agents, searching for anything valuable. He found that they each had been equipped with the modified Bald detection kit which had been developed by Bald Jack and now appeared to be being mass produced by the Agency research and development department. Bald Leon knew that with this technology to find him in close proximity, along with the satellites to work out his general position on the planet, it was impossible for him to hide from the Agency. He had to take the fight to them, but how?
He figured that he had bought himself enough time to get out of the area before further agents were dispatched with the proximity trackers, so he fled. He had to tell Bald Ben that the Agency couldn't be trusted, so he sprinted all the way to Bald Ben's house and knocked on the door, waiting for Mrs Choo, Bald Ben's mother, to answer.
After several minutes, the door was opened, but not by Mrs Choo, on the other side of the door stood a short, slim, elderly man, with bushy white hair on the sides of his head, thinning hair on the top and wooden framed reading glasses.
"Oh hello, young man. My name is Bernard. I just moved in. Are you a neighbour?"
"No. Where's Bald Ben"
"Bald Ben? I don't know if you have the right place, my friend. I bought this house just this week, but I believe the previous owners were the Choo family, not a Mr Ben"
"Yeah, his name is Bald Ben Choo. Do you know where they went?"
"No, I'm afraid not, sorry. I hope you find your friend though!" said Bernard as he closed the door on Bald Leon
Bald Leon continued to wander the streets. Searching at each of his and Bald Ben's favourite spots. He went to the motorway overpass, where he and Bald Ben used to throw things such as fruit, snow, tissues and rocks at cars, but Bald Ben was nowhere to be seen. He checked the swimming baths where he and Bald Ben would fill their pockets with yellow food colouring and then cannonball into the pool, but Bald Ben hadn't been in weeks. He checked all of the corner shops, who said they had seen him but didn't know where he'd gone. He even went to the high school he and Bald Ben had forgotten to attend, but he wasn't there either.
Meanwhile, Bald Ben and Gerkin were at a local bookstore, belligerently drunk, putting religious scriptures in the fiction section. Once they were thrown out, laughing raucously, they stumbled to the local pub which was hosting an open mic night. They sat down to listen to the current act, a man doing standup.
"So the other day I was getting my oil changed, well I say I was getting my oil changed, My wife was the one to drop off the car. So she comes to me afterwards and says that the mechanic said it was gonna cost £400 for the oil change! I know One HUNDRED pounds!. So obviously I go back and renegotiate with the guy, and now were only paying £100" said the comic ironically
"I don't get it!" shouted Gerkin
"Ok so basically the joke is, oil changes are usually cheap or free, so £100 is still a lot for it" explained the comic
"That joke fucking sucks! You're well stupid!" shouted Bald Ben
"Okay, looks like we got a couple of hecklers, haha, it's ok, everyone's a critic, humour is subjective. So where are you guys from huh?" asked the comic
"I'm from an island in the middle of the ocean" shouted Gerkin
"What are you doing here then little monkey?" asked the comic
"I don't know. I think I was supposed to protect a magic rock but it's not my problem anymore. So now I'm here to drink and fuck your mum" shouted Gerkin, slurring his words
"Okay... security can we throw these guys out?"
Security came and picked up Gerkin and Bald Ben by their collars, and threw them out into the rain. Bald Ben got up and tried to swing for one of the bouncers, but he was so drunk he just fell over instead. Gerkin however, ran up the bouncer's body and bit his nose off. The bouncer screamed out in pain and fell to the floor as the crowd around him circled to see what was happening.
"Gerkin! Run!" shouted Bald Ben
The pair ran off down the road into the rain. They ran onto the main street and could hear police sirens in the distance. They ran as fast as they could, panicking as they went, but as they rounded a corner they slammed into someone running in the opposite direction, causing all three parties to fall to the floor. They all sat up and looked at each other.
"Yalright Bald Leon?"
"Yalright Bald Ben?"
The reunited Balds helped each other off of the ground. Gerkin also sat up and saw Bald Leon.
"GERKIN! YOU'RE ALIVE!"
Bald Leon picked up the finger monkey and gripped him in a tight hug, causing his eyes to bulge out of his head.
"Both of you listen. The Agency turned on us. I don't know how high up it goes but they have Bald Jack, and they can track us anywhere on the planet. I'm being followed right now."
"Well, what about Skinwalker Leon? Is he even real?" asked Bald Ben
"Yeah. I think so anyway and I'm not usually wrong."
"I'm sorry but what the fuck is going on? What is the Agency?" asked Gerkin
"You are about to find out," said Bald Leon
Five SUVs parked up around the group of three, and from each car came several agents, all wearing armour and armed with varying weaponry. They surrounded the trio and demanded they surrender and get on the ground.
The Balds declined.
The agents all rushed the gang at once. Bald Leon took his usual strategy of using his higher-than-average speed to put some distance between himself and the enemy, whereas Bald Ben started using his large frame to absorb damage. Bald Ben had learned after his fight with the cleaners that if he gets attacked by enough people, he can be overwhelmed, so he was being cautious and punching agents whenever he had the chance to try and stop them from overwhelming him. Gerkin ran along the floor and up the leg of an agent, pulling the pin out of the grenade on the agent's belt before jumping to the next one. By the time the agent realised what had happened, and he began to panic and fumble with the grenade to unclip it from the belt, it was already too late. The agent's legs were blown clean off, along with the hand he was using to unclip the grenade, killing him instantly. The rest of the agents noticed this and unclipped their grenades as quickly as they could, tossing them to a safe distance. Gerkin decided that he should use his doorman strategy instead, climbing onto the faces of his enemies and biting, scratching and pulling their skin off. In some instances the panicked agents even fired upon their own friend's faces, trying to prevent Gerkin from jumping onto them.
Bald Leon started charging into agents, barrelling them over like a humanoid bowling ball. He got stunned by an agent's stun baton, electrocuting him and making his limbs lock up momentarily, allowing the agents to handcuff him, but he managed to catch his breath moments before agents cuffed him, breaking free and sweeping out their legs from under them. Bald Ben kept bouncing agents off of each other using his enormous belly, rebounding them into the floor and the cars. Unfortunately, an agent got a clear shot, firing a bullet through Bald Ben's shoulder, and making him cry.
Bald Leon noticed that they were beginning to overwhelm the agents, but he knew that backup would soon be on the way, especially since they had stayed in place for so long.
"Quick, let's steal one of the cars!" he shouted
Bald Ben grabbed the door of the nearest car, flinging it open, but before he could climb into the vehicle, he was tackled by a particularly burly agent, sending him through the door, bending it too far and making it come free from its hinges. Bald Ben landed on top of the door which was now on the floor, shattering the glass under his head. The agent began to beat him with his fists, but Gerkin came to the rescue, landing on the back of the Agent's head and reaching around to his face, pulling on his eyelids. The Agent screamed in pain as his eyelids were ripped off by the manic monkey, fainting and falling flat on his face as he went into shock. Bald Ben got up and into the passenger seat of the car, which Bald Leon had now also climbed into. Gerkin jumped into the car through the open back window, and Bald Leon put the accelerator to the floor, driving off as fast as he could.
"They aren't going to stop, are they Bald Leon?" asked Bald Ben
"No... Not while they can trace us. We need to take the fight to them"
"And we need to free your friend. Bald Jack wasn't it?" pitched in Gerkin
"Oh Yeah, him too. We also need to keep an eye out for this Skinwalker Leon. Maybe he's not as insane as the Agency made us think, and he just knew they were bad news." said Bald Leon
"What if he hates us 'cause we helped the Agency at first? He might not be the forgiving sort" said Bald Ben
"Maybe. But priority number one is getting back into the Agency and grabbing Agent Davidson. Maybe even pulling out The Creator" suggested Bald Leon
"You still trust him?" asked Bald Ben
"I don't see why not. We were fooled by the Agency, why is it stupid to say that he wasn't too?" questioned Bald Leon
"Lad he's the most obvious twist villain ever! Of course, he's going to betray you. He turned up out of nowhere and unannounced saying he was the leader of this secret group, and that same secret group are now trying to kill us. What makes you think he's good?"
"The guidance"
"The Guidance? That thing in your head that makes you know everything? What does that say about him?"
"I don't know"
"What do you mean you don't know? The guidance is meant to know everything?"
"Exactly. But the guidance is being really vague. I asked it if The Creator is really my grandad and it said yes. I asked it if the Creator is the Master's dad and it said technically. I asked it if he was against us and it didn't answer at all. It has always given plain simple answers like yes or no, it's never left things for me to interpret them by saying shit like technically, and it absolutely never doesn't answer me. So I think that it's because things aren't decided yet, the Creator is still trying to stop the agency from attacking us, and it just isn't a fixed point in time yet"
"You're risking a lot on an if..."
"Well, there's only one way we can find out for sure. We're going back to the Agency."
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