THE DISASTROUS TALE OF THE BALDS.
CHAPTER 9: SECRETS BEST KEPT HIDDEN
Bald Jack couldn't shake the funny feeling he had about the Agency. The next time he and Bald Leon went to HQ, he asked anyone who he thought would know what had happened to Jack O TV 240p and K-Pop Leon, but everyone he asked either didn't know, claimed they didn't have clearance or said that they were just being interviewed, but couldn't say where and that he wasn't able to see them because of his own clearance not being good enough. He even tried sneaking around the site, but the holding cells he could find didn't house those he was looking for. Eventually, he decided to just go back to his quarters to see Bald Leon, but he wasn't there. There was a note scribbled on a burger king wrapper left on the computer console in the middle of the room.
To Bald Jack,
Gone to talk to The Creator
about missions and stuff like
that. Think we have worked
out where Skinwalker Leon
will attack next.
P.S. borrowed fifty quid out
of your wallet because there
was a new Nintendo Switch
game that I wanted to put
on my shelf and never play.
P.P.S I also borrowed a
tenner out of your wallet
so I could buy some scratch
cards for the Creator.
P.P.P.S I just took your
whole wallet because it was
easier than borrowing a
few quid at a time.
Bald Jack set down the note and had an idea. If Bald Leon was going to borrow from him, he was sure that it would be fine if he borrowed from Bald Leon. Bald Leon had a higher level of clearance than Bald Jack, meaning that he might be able to find something in the Agency system. He logged onto Bald Leon's account using his password 'ViolinManIsABender123!'. He searched for the names of the missing, which yielded no results. He instead tried searching for current prisoners which yielded hundreds of results, all organised by a prisoner number. The sheer amount of results were troubling for Bald Jack, especially since he had not seen any of these people. Bald Jack wondered if Bald Leon's elevated clearance may have meant he had access to areas of the facility that Bald Jack didn't. He searched for the facility map on Bald Leon's console and discovered an entire sub-level of the facility. He traced the access corridor to the facilities archives and the door of which had been hidden within a bookshelf. He took a picture of the map on his phone and logged off of Bald Leon's account, and grabbed Bald Leon's spare access card.
He tried acting casual as he exited his sleeping quarters and made his way to the archive library. On his way, he attempted to maintain his cover, waving hello at everyone who he came across. He almost blew it when someone returned his greeting with a 'hi' and when he replied with 'hello' his voice broke in the most tremendous way due to the stress he was feeling. He managed to play it off as normal and made it the rest of the way to the archives. He browsed casually, trying to avoid gaining the attention of anyone, and he stealthily approached the bookshelf he had worked out was the secret door. He read the books on the shelf, trying to find out a clue as to what the trigger for the door may be. He saw a book labelled 'how to hide a secret door'. He smirked to himself and yanked the door from the shelf, expecting a click and a door to open. It didn't. He was puzzled. He opened the book to read the clues inside.
Step 1: Do not make the trigger for the door the most obvious thing that even a local reporter could discover
Bald Jack felt like this was a personal insult, so he carefully put the book back onto the shelf. It was then that he noticed the book stuck out from the shelf slightly. Pulling it away again and peering into the gap, he saw that there was a pullable lever hidden against the shelf behind where the book would be. He reached into the shelf and pulled the handle, and the floor beneath his feet began to spin with the shelf, which he realised was a hidden revolving door, sending him into the secret hidden wing of the agency HQ. Bald Jack walked down the sloped corridor and noticed that the hidden wing was following a similar map to the regular floor plan, meaning that he was underneath the normal corridors. He noticed that the air vents on the top of the walls in this corridor were connected to air vents on the bottom of the floor in the corridor above. He also noticed that the wing had completely different lighting than the rest of the facility. Instead of the equally spaced and illuminating white box lights, the sides of the corridors were fitted with strips of deep blue LEDs embedded into the wall, which were not as bright as the usual lights, to prevent anyone from seeing the secret corridor through the air vents or the secret door.
He followed the signage on the sub corridor to the holding cells, which incidentally were under the regular holding cells. The door had no access control, so he quietly slid it open. The door opened to a ginormous prison block, which went several floors deeper into the ground, but unlike the regular cells, every cell was filled. Bald Jack saw a clipboard in front of him, it had all of the same prisoner numbers which he had seen on the terminal before, but it also had the corresponding names. He scanned the board and found the names he was looking for "K-Pop Leon" and "Jack O TV 240p", but before he could go and find them, the door on the opposite side of the prison block opened up. Bald Jack dived for cover, slowly crawling out of the door he had left open. He slid it shut behind him, stood up, and began to run for the exit, Terrified he was being followed. He got to the revolving door and started pulling books off the shelf looking for the switch. He yanked the switch, swinging him into the archives, which he walked out of as fast as he could, every fibre of his being telling him to run but fear of being seen as suspicious stopping him. He got back to the sleeping quarters caked in sweat and felt somewhat relieved to be back behind a locked door.
Bald Jack realised he had kept the clipboard from the prison wing. He started to read through the list. They were all categorised into one of three categories; 'Ben Waves', 'Leon Waves' and 'Unknown'. "Jack O TV 240p and K-Pop Leon both fit into the Leon Waves category. He read more of the manifest and something caught his eye. Bald Leon was on the list in the Leon Waves section, but what made it even stranger was just below Bald Leon was The Creator, also in the Leon Waves section. He read to the bottom of the page, and the final item shocked him:
Unknown Wave, P Number 002294481, Bald Jack
He was on the list. Why did the Agency think him a Bald? He had to get this list to Bald Leon, and maybe even the Creator, especially if the Creator's very own agents were working against him on something.
Bald Jack got a shock when he heard the door beep, indicating someone had swiped their access card to enter. He dived for cover behind the bed, but from under the bed, he could see that the shoes belonging to the intruder were those of Bald Leon.
"Bald Leon! Bald Leon! I was right! They're hiding people! I got this list and k-pop Leon is on there and you're on there, and the Creator's on there, AND I'M ON THERE! OH MY GOD, I'M HYPERVENTILATING! BALD LEON WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!"
Bald Leon slapped Bald Jack across the face, sending him flying into the wall, cracking the plaster.
"Pull yourself together Bald Jack, let me read it"
Bald Leon sat down and pulled out a pair of reading glasses which he placed on top of his regular glasses. He read through the list, the troubling look on his face growing in intensity.
"This is bad, Where did you get this"
Bald Jack pulled himself onto his feet using the bed.
"It was in a secret wing of the Agency hidden behind a bookcase in the library, but I had to run out because I almost got caught"
"Show me"
The pair walked casually back to the archives, finding the bookcase. Bald Jack got anxious when he saw that all the books he had pulled off the shelf had been placed neatly back.
"Bald Leon, we're going to get caught, They must know that someone was here already, they aren't stupid enough to think that someone would do this by accident"
"I know, I'm going to have to use my patented Bald super speed. I'm only able to go this fast once per story or I'm too OP, so we're going to have to time this right, open the door and walk back to our sleeping quarters"
Bald Jack pulled the lever and turned around. From Bald Leon's perspective, time slowed to a snail's pace as he began to run as fast as he could. He squished through the gap in the still-opening door and ran into the prison wing. He picked up another copy of the clipboard and began to search cell to cell, looking at what Bald's had been captured. Bald Leon peered into the cells, examining the captured balds. He noticed that unlike the holding cells above, these prisoners were fastened to chairs, and it appeared that they were receiving a blood transfusion. Bald Leon's head told him that they must be trying to syphon Bald Energy from each of these captured individuals. He realised too late that he had slowed down to a stop to examine the cells, meaning he had used up his Deus ex machina for this book. He continued to walk deeper into the prison, finding prisoners who had been labelled as dangerous.
"You just couldn't keep your nose out could you?"
Bald Leon turned around to see agent Davidson standing behind him.
"What is this? Why are you taking the bald energy from these prisoners?"
"It doesn't matter. The help you've given us in rounding up additional balds has been invaluable. I mean at first I thought we'd have to keep you on long term, capturing one bald at a time, but after we got you here, and we were able to get a sample of your blood, we don't need all of these shitty knockoffs. You may not be the original, but you are the closest to the Master we've got yet"
"What about my Grandad upstairs? Surely he's closer to the Master than me?"
"That old fool? No, He doesn't even have half of the power of the Master. You though, you get close. If we want the power of the father the son and the holy spirit, what better place to start than the son?"
"What you think I'm just going to let you take all my Bald Energy? It's not even like you have leverage over me, and you definitely can't beat me in a fight"
"No I know that... but maybe my friends can"
Agent Davidson hit a button on the wall, sounding a klaxon alarm. All of the cell doors on this floor slid wide open. letting out three prisoners.
"Bald Leon, I'd like you to meet some of our more dangerous residences, Dog Having Man, Society Man and Mark Jackson. The great thing about these guys is I don't even have to convince them to attack you, I just have to keep my distance, cause these guys will attack anything regardless."
Bald Leon checked the clipboard again, these guys were so dangerous that they had been given specialised containment instructions.
Mark Jackson - Do not make physical contact under any circumstances, spreads a communicable neurological virus through touch
Dog Having Man - If he sees you as a threat to his dog, he will go to any lengths to neutralise the threat
Society Man - Was born in a society, as such, is very dangerous and clinically insane
Bald Leon threw the clipboard at Agent Davidson, knocking him to the floor. Due to the sounding of the alarm, the upper levels of the secret prison wing began to fill with guards, all armed with stun guns. Agent Davidson commanded them to target Bald Leon. They began to fire and Bald Leon had to tactfully dodge all of the shots. Agent Davidson made his way to a stairwell to get away, as his men came down the same stairwell moving past him, armed with stun batons and shields. Bald Leon began to fight the guards, while the guards tried to subdue him and avoid the dangerous prisoners. The first of the dangerous prisoners to approach Bald Leon was Dog Having Man.
"Are you starting on my Dog?" he barked, gesturing at Bald Leon and His Pittbull, which he had somehow been allowed to keep with him in his prison cell
"What?" questioned Bald Leon
"ARE YOU STARTING ON MY FUCKING DOG!" he demanded, lunging at Bald Leon
Dog Having Man was surprisingly strong, and spurned on by the adrenaline brought about by the perceived threat to his canine companion. He swung for Bald Leon, punching him in the chest and forcing him back against the brick wall of the prison block. He threw several more punches, blinded by rage, most of which hit the brick wall. Bald Leon ducked under the attack, hitting Dog Having Man on the back of the neck, collapsing him to the floor. Dog Having Man's dog began to lick his face, attempting to wake him up.
Bald Leon moved on to fighting the guards, avoiding the whacks from the stun sticks. He grabbed a stun stick from a guard, and stunned him with it, and began using him as a shield. As he was fighting Bald Leon became confused at what he was hearing. On the opposite side of the fight, panicked screams of the words "Mark Jackson" began to sound out. It was being shouted by guards who had come into physical contact with Mark Jackson. They had been robbed of their ability to speak, but retained their higher brain function, causing them to panic at their lack of communication skills. Mark Jackson was using the panic of his foes to stab them with a shiv he had created, chanting his name with every kill. Bald Leon knew better than to get close, so he grabbed the guard he had been using as a human shield by his collar and the waistband, and threw him at Mark Jackson at full speed. The guard was killed by the impact, but Mark Jackson was at least out of the fight, unconscious.
Bald Leon turned to fight the final of the three prisoners impeding his escape, but before he could get to Society Man, several 9mm shots rang out, fired by Agent Davidson from the upper levels. Bald Leon dived for cover and used the stun stick he still had, ricocheting it off of the floor to bounce back up to Agent Davidson, knocking him out cold. Guards began to retreat to cordon off the area and evacuate their wounded, as well as their now unconscious commanding officer. Bald Leon used the easing off in the battle to rush Society Man, who was sitting on the chest of a guard he had wounded, taunting him.
"My Father... was a Redditor... and a Libtard" he taunted. He plunged a shiv into the guard, killing him.
Bald Leon didn't give Society man the chance to stand up, kicking him in the face, and running past him out of the door. He climbed the stairs to get back to the corridor, fighting his way through guards armed with shields, stun sticks and guns. He was brutal in his attack, cracking skulls and breaking limbs, but eventually, he got back into the archive room. Every armed Agent in the room saw Bald Leon being chased and began to fire upon him. Bald Leon charged through the corridors of the Agency, rushing for the door. The main entrance was blocked by a group of guards, who began to fire live ammunition at Bald Leon.
Bald Leon made a U-turn, heading for the hangar. As he entered the hangar he found yet more guards, but annoyingly every aircraft was being locked down or disabled to impede Bald Leon's escape. He ran straight down the runway, avoiding bullets, and dived out of the facility into the open world. He ran and ran as fast as he could. Not stopping until he couldn't hear the hum of agency vehicles anymore. He found a Mcdonald's, went inside and sat at a table. He didn't know who he could trust. Agent Davidson had betrayed him, but was all the Agency bad? The agents in the archives might have just shot at him because everyone else was. It was at that moment he realised something even more worrying.
"OH SHIT! I forgot Bald Jack!"
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