THE DISASTROUS TALE OF THE BALDS.
CHAPTER 5: BALD HUNTERS
"We got the cannon you requested Bald Leon, where would you like us to put it?"
"I need it mounted on the side of that Huey" Instructed Bald Leon, pointing to a transport helicopter in the hangar
"But sir I think that'll have a severe impact on the weight distribution of the craft"
"Well you better make the necessary modifications to make it work," said Bald Leon sternly to the lowly engineer.
The hangar was abuzz with preparations, Bald Jack was organising his gear, which Bald Leon soon noticed was holiday essentials, not equipment for a combat zone. He was going through a list he had composed of relevant materials.
"Sun cream, Check. Sunglasses, Check. sun hat, Check. Bald Leon, have you packed anything to protect yourself?"
"Bulletproof vest and a 10 pack of condoms" he replied bluntly
"But nothing for the sun? don't you know that some experts think that 50% of sunburns can turn into skin cancer? Tell you what, I'll pack you some SPF 50 sun cream you can borrow, that should do it" offered Bald Jack
"did you know 99.999999% of people who get shot in the face die?" asked Bald Leon in response, holding a rifle in an intimidating fashion.
"Well the sun cream is there if you want it"
The strike team were loading up into the small fleet of aircraft, carrying in the specialised equipment and weapons. Once that was completed, they themselves got on board the helicopters and planes, and finally, Agent Davidson, Bald Leon and Bald Jack joined them, the first of two decked out in military equipment, and the latter with a blob of sunscreen on the end of his nose.
The large internal runway doors opened up, revealing that the hangar was on quite a severe angle, allowing the planes to take off vertically out of the industrial estate. The helicopters took off immediately and then cleared out of the direct air space in front of the runway. Then the planes pulled onto the slanted runway, loading into a sort of slingshot system used to get the aircraft to planes at a faster rate. Bald Jack clung to his seat as he experienced the most G-force of his entire life as the aircraft shot into the sky, and pointed towards Marseille.
During the short flight, the pilot called ahead to Marseille Provence Airport to announce their incoming arrival, and once the Agency was name-dropped, the runway and relevant helipads were opened up. The strike team unloaded and got into a series of awaiting trucks to transport them to a nearby Agency safe house. Bald Jack was rather upset when he found out that there wouldn't be any time for him to go to the lovely beaches, but he soon got over it.
The detection instruments managed to locate the Leon variant in a casino hotel. Agent Davidson briefed the newcomers on their tasks.
"Bald Jack, we want you as the lookout, you have minimal combat experience, so we are going to station you opposite the hotel on this roof here," he said, pointing at the map in front of him.
"Should I wear my sun hat?"
Bald Leon clipped Bald Jack around the ear with his hand at such a stupid question, Agent Davidson then directed Bald Leon on his role in the operation, holding up a small plastic device.
"You are our man on the inside, we will give you this little detection device, which will emit a discreet bleeping noise. When you get close to the bald signature it has been attuned to, the timing between blips will decrease, until the point where you should make visible contact, at which point it will make a solid, uninterrupted sound"
Bald Leon stared, seeing the obvious issue.
"which Bald Signature is this attuned too"
"The very same as Skinwalker Leon"
Bald Leon switched on the machine, which immediately began to screech as Bald Leon held it. Agent Davidson realised the blunder.
"Ah. Well... you and Bald Jack will have to swap roles"
Bald Jack spat out his cup of tea which he had poured of screen somehow.
"ME! I- I- I DON'T THINK I'M CUT OUT FOR THIS KIND OF THING?"
Bald Leon looked to his feet, pondering the conundrum.
"No, Davidson is right. It has too be you Bald Jack. The machine just wont work if I use it. New plan. Bald Jack goes in, finds and marks Skinwalker Leon, then when we can confirm it's him, we move in and extract him, then get the fuck out of France. I HATE France"
Bald Jack was outfitted in the disguise intended for Bald Leon, a now ill-fitting tuxedo. It was pinned to reduce the billowing cloth. They also fitted the small detection device to his wrist, discreetly up his sleeve, they then gave him a small, translucent ear piece which would ensure that only he himself could hear the beeps of the device. He was then delivered to the front of the hotel, at which point he strolled in through the reception and into the casino. Almost instantly he was hit by the strange sense of euphoria brought about by the lights and noise of the casino floor. The noisy slot machines spooked him as one cashed out, firing out euro coins into the basin. He jumped in fright as someone shouted in celebration after winning a hand of black jack, and he ducked out of the way as someone was dragged out for being too drunk. He snapped out of acknowledging the distractions, and returned his focus to the mission. He discreetly scratched his wrist, and in doing so switched on the detection unit. a faint beep blipped in his ear, and he began to scan the room for anything out of the ordinary. He stepped around the floor, avoiding the crowds, following the beeps as the time between them decreased. The beeps became an almost constant tone as he reached a roulette table, and at the same time he asked himself an important question.
"Why would a creature as dangerous as Skinwalker Leon be gambling in a casino"
The machine's beeps became a solid tone. Bald Jack looked up and saw the variant. It was not Skinwalker Leon, but a man who resembled Bald Leon, except with hair, and it was as if his face was pixelated and in a lower resolution, despite the fact Bald Jack was looking at him in person, and not through a screen. The man had a huge pile of chips in front of him and a small posse around him who all cleary wanted a part of his success. The dealer pushed the mans winnings towards him, and when the man touched them, they two "pixelated" as if they were a part of him, same as his clothes. The man looked up and saw Bald Jack staring directly at him. The man looked confused, and then quickly scooped up his winnings and began to walk away from the table. Bald Jack followed, trying his best not to lose him, while also trying to contact the strike team to let them know they had there man. The man began to run for the exit, shoving people out of the way, Bald Jack apologised to each person as he stepped over them. The man looked back and saw that Bald Jack was still in pursuit, as a distraction, he threw his winnings into the air, sending everyone around him into a frenzy trying to grab them off of the floor.
By the time Bald Jack pushed passed the crowd, The man had made it out of the lobby. The strike team pulled up out front just as Bald Jack came through the doors. Bald Jack's head span left and right trying to see the target, and just as all seemed lost, he saw his pixelated feet at the very last second as they ascended up onto a foot bridge. He shouted out and pointed, and he and the strike team jumped into action. Bald Leon charged ahead using his speed, and had quickly ascended the stairs onto the foot bridge, only to find that the pixelated man had dived over the side onto the roof of a passing truck. Bald Leon dived onto a coach, and began hopping vehicle to vehicle to catch up to the truck. He dived onto the back of the truck, and then climbed up the doors on the back and up onto the roof. As his head poked over the top, the pixelated man kicked him in the face. Bald Leon flew backwards onto the windscreen of the car behind, smashing it inwards. He got to his feet on the bonnet of the car, and jumped from there straight over the pixelated man onto the roof of the truck. The pixelated man swung a few more punches, which Bald Leon blocked with his own arms, he hit back, striking the pixelated man in the face, and briefly dazing him. The pixelated man tackled Bald Leon, and began to whale punch after punch onto his face and chest. Bald Leon lifted up his knee and kicked his adversary in the crotch. The pixelated man fell to his side in pain, and to escape, the man rolled off the side of the truck, and into some bushes nearby. Bald Leon jumped off the truck to catch up with him, narrowly avoiding being hit by another car.
The pixelated man had dived over the bushes and onto the adjacted footpath, and was now trying to run away. By now, the strike team had caught up to the chase in there vehicles, and had blocked the route ahead, so the pixelated man took a quick left into a building on the path, which turned out to be a fine dining restaurant. Bald Leon ran in after him, charging past all the diners and into the back kitchen, and as he swung the door open he was hit across the face with a frying pan, knocking him off of his feet and onto his arse, in quite a comedic fashion. He got to his feet and immediately had to dodge left and right as the target through a series of knifes at him. Bald Leon grabbed a big pot of something boiling and through it at the pixelated man who screamed in pain, trying to wipe his eyes. Bald Leon grabbed a rolling pin and began to smack his enemy over and over with it, until he fell to the ground, subdued.
"WHO ARE YOU" shouted Bald Leon.
The pixelated man looked up at his superior, and coughed up a bit of blood.
"My... My name is Jack O TV 240p... Listen if this is about Mr Russo's money, you can tell him I just spent all night winning it back for him. all this really isn't necessary"
"Is that why you ran? you think I'm some gangster enforcer? What do you know about Skinwalker leon!"
"You... You aren't one of Quentin's freaks? and what the fuck is a Skinwalker?"
Agent Davidson stepped into the kitchen, followed quickly by the strike team, weapons drawn.
"Excellent work Bald Leon. Look's like this isn't the primary target, but we still need to bring him in. Sedate him men"
one of the strike team loaded up a syringe with anaestetic and injected Jack O TV 240p, and then bound his hands with handcuffs. Then, a second member of the team helped the first to lift him to his feet by his shoulders, and dragged him outside into the van. Agent Davidson helped Bald Leon to his feet, as Bald Jack walked past the strike team and into the kitchen.
"Was it him?" asked Bald Jack
"No, some variant called Jack O TV 240p. looks like his Bald Waves make him a lower resolution somehow. my eyes are stinging just from looking at him" Bald Leon explained while squinting
"Well regardless, this is an excellent days work. We will take Jack O TV 240p back to HQ where, with his consent, we can analyse his blood so we can refine the Bald Aerial Detection equipment further, from what I overheard as I come in then, seems like he was having some trouble with criminals to, so I'm sure the best thing to do would be to remove him from the country as quickly as possible" said Davidson
The trio left the restaurant, apologising to the staff and owner for the disruption, then loaded up into there vehicles to drive back to the airport. When they arrived, they found Jack O TV 240p in a similar 'hanibal lecter' style situation to what Bald Ben had been the days prior. Agent Davidson explained that it was for his protection as well as there own. The plane took off, although slightly slower than it had with the Agency assisted take off system, and they were soon back in English airspace. As they came into land and they flew over there hometown Bald Jack pointed out of the window at a recognisable spot.
"Hey look Bald Leon! Bald Ben's Dad's restaurant is on fire!"
Comments
Post a Comment