Meet the Bald's: The Smelter

Name: The Smelter

Threat Level: Wednesday

D.O.B: 13/01/1963

Height: 6ft 1inch

Weight: 14 stone

Occupation: Scrap metal merchant

Quirk: can smell different metal types

Status: Alive

smelter


"The Smelter" is an Australian man who has the hobby of taking scrap metal and melting it down into ingots, coins and other metal casting shapes, with the goal of melting down 1 tonne of assorted metal. Some of his favourite metals to melt are Copper, Aluminium and Zinc. He also enjoys casting these metals into alloy metals, such as "Nordic Gold", a Composite made up of Copper, Aluminium, Brass and Tin.

His hobby began relatively harmless, breaking down and melting the metal of assorted items he could find in dumpsters, such as electrical motors, washing machines, metal framing etc. However, this hobby became problematic when he began to steal items to satiate his addiction to smelting. The first incident of this was when he and his wife, unfortunately, had a tree fall down in their back garden, damaging their roof. When they called a roofer to repair the damage, the roofer was left stranded on The Smelter's roof after The Smelter stole his ladder and melted it down into Aluminum bars. The man eventually had to jump down, breaking one of his ankles, and a civil lawsuit was held against The Smelter. He was let off with a warning after having to pay for the roofer's medical care, replacement ladder, legal fees and appropriate compensation.

The second mischievous event that The Smelter was a perpetrator in was when his wife sewing machine broke down. She had asked him to take a look at it and see if he could repair it. He took a look at the machine, pressed the buttons to see that it wasn't working and then decided that it was irreparable without doing any real diagnostic. He told his wife he would take a look at it with his "tools" which was in fact 6 hammers of varying size. He smashed up her sewing machine and melted it down into metal bars.

The second act directly leads into the first and arguably worst act. After losing her sewing machine, his wife took up recreational jogging as a hobby instead. unfortunately, while she was out for a run one day, her foot fell into a pothole and she fell over onto her side, breaking her hip in the process, requiring a hip replacement. The Smelter was all too happy to hear this news, and when she got home from the hospital, neighbours reported that The Smelter was salivating while looking at his wife's hips.

On that day, The Smelter gained an additional titanium ingot and his wife was never seen again. This of course launched a police investigation as The Smelter had prior arrests. During the enquiry and search of his house, the police found a large amount of metal in his house, matching the description of amounts of metal taken from crucial city infrastructure, such as the copper cabling powering peoples homes which had gone missing on random nights. 

The large amount of potential theft and damage to infrastructure gained the attention of the ASIO (Australian Security Intelligence Organisation), however when they went to arrest him not a single member of the arresting squad returned, and they were found several weeks later in a lake 8 miles from The Smelter's house, stripped down of any metal they may have had on their people, such as their guns, their badges, gold teeth, and bone replacements in one case.

The Smelter's house was then found to be deserted, including 759 kg worth of assorted metal. Some investigators have theorised that when he reaches his goal of 1 tonne of metal smelted, he will be able to smelt steel, something he has specified he is not yet able to do in the past. When he reaches this amount he is believed to be near impossible to beat, as he would be able to melt buildings, cars and anything else law enforcement could throw at him.

He remains on the run to this day, with the police occasionally being able to find cases of metal theft that can be linked to him. We live in fear of the day he reaches his goal.



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