THE PUBLICLY AVAILABLE BALD'S TIMELINE
This is the publicly available version of the Bald's timeline as it is now. as each project is completed or a major milestone in a story passes, this page will be updated to include the newest publicly available information (Not that information from "Meet the Bald's" posts may not be included, as these posts often contain information regarding events that have not yet transpired)
Timeline is accurate as of 12/11/2021 and will be updated periodically
THE TIMELINE:
THE BEGINNING:
Day 0 - The master gets hungry and creates the food delivery service "deliveroo", bringing Bald Ollie into existence with it to deliver the order. Bald ollie only exists when a deliveroo order is made, meaning he exists in purgatory until the next order is made and he only delivers the more difficult orders
Day 1 - The master creates the universe and all of the matter within it
Day 2 - The Master creates the concept of time and relativity to give his universe meaning
Day 3 - The Master spends this day on a smoke break
Day 4 - The Master invents poverty
Day 5 - The Master invents the many ancient relics of power, including the forever pebbles, stones with the ability to manipulate reality.
Day 6 - Smoke break
Day 7 - The Master creates his paradise planet, complete with a smoking area
The End - One of the duplicates of the Master who lives on the paradise planet accidentally destroys
reality
The new beginning - the last surviving The Master duplicate creates a new universe, our universe, using the remanents of the previous reality, including the planet Earth, where many of the relics of power ended up, as well as the energy that The Master created, Bald-Waves.
PRE-HISTORY:
500000 BC - Bald Leon is created by the new The Master, who was lonely and wanted beings in his own image, however as he was weaker and not as learned as the original, he couldn’t make an exact duplicate, only a being that looked similar. This being lived on earth in caveman times and became the most advanced human that there would be for millions of years
300000 BC - Bald Leon falls into the River Mersey and is encased in ice after starting to tell a joke to his friend Ugg Bugg
200000 BC - the first incarnation of Gerkin, reincarnating guardian of the gay pebble, spawns onto the earth
THE 1800’S:
1st April 1853 - Fam Sordy, The genius cowboy, is born
13th May 1855 - Cowboy Leon is born
THE 1900'S:
4th May 1900 - Dog lead Man is born, possessing the ability of infinite youth as long as he eats a carrot a day after his mother went through an 18 year gestation period
1915 - Dog Lead Man finds his enchanted magic dog lead, his signature weapon
1926 - Dog Lead Man causes the wall street crash
1930 - Dog Lead Man begins training as a bounty hunter, as well as training in martial arts
1940 - Dog Lead Man enlists in the British military during WW2,
1943 - The US Navy became the first humans to discover a forever pebble, the gay pebble. when they come into contact with it, it turns some of the sailors gay and creates the stereotype of the Navy being full of gay people. The Navy leave the pebble on the island where they find it and scratch the mission from records.
1964 - Rahabbi alatosh is born
30th March 1976 - Bald Ben is born
1st September 1977 - The Creator is created by The Master to act as his father figure
1st October 1977 - The Creator develops a crippling nicotine addiction, and begins to smoke 100 cigarettes a day
June 1982 - Dog Lead Man joins the Falklands war, under his own flag, utilizing an army of 8 to 10-year-olds in the cub scouts, after suffering great loss, he won the war
23rd April 1984 - Julian Alatosh, the son of Rahabbi Alatosh, is born
1988 - Bald Ben gets his first restraining order
1990 - K-Pop Leon is engineered in a lab to be the perfect Popstar
1991 - Bald Ben invents the Y2K myth, plunging the world into terror after his dad took away his NES
3rd July 1993 - Bald Jack is born
September 1994 - Bald Ben finally starts high school after being held back in primary school for 13 years
11:43 4th March 1996 - Bald Ben has Jam on toast
THE 2000'S:
14th January 2000 - Society Man is born
June 2000 - A dispute between The Master and The Creator over how they value life of others causes them to become estranged.
THE 2010'S:
2010 - Michael Gaye (The Future Dr Gay) Begins his studies at college in Liberal Arts and Functional English, with the aim of eventually getting his Btec in Medical Studies
2015 - K-Pop leon begin's to perform his shows in korea
May 2018 - Bald Leon awakens from the ice
May 2018 - Bald Leon meets Bald Jack
September 2018 - Bald Leon goes to school and meets Bald Ben
September 2018 - Bald Leon and Bald Ben have a cannonball fight on their respective house roofs
1st October 2018 - The Boxing Match between Jack O TV and Jack O TV HD
February 2019 - Rahabbi Alatosh is killed by Violin Man
February 2019 - Bald Leon and Bald Ben begin there adventures around the world to avenge Rahabbi and collect forever pebbles.
THE FAR FUTURE:
10,000,001 - Violin Man is born into the meadows wasteland, a place created after armageddon was caused by the balds
10,000,019 - Violin Man begins to learn the Violin and quickly becomes proficient
10,000,050 - Leben, the android amalgamation of Bald Leon and Bald Ben, is created
10,000,052 - Violin Man is given the time pebble and travles back in time to prevent the timeline leading to his apocalyptic world by killing Bald Leon and Bald Ben
10,000,060 - The Leben android conquers the earth and quickly becomes the universes most powerful being and dictator
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